Personal injury lawyers know something that often surprises their colleagues in other areas: for many clients, money isn’t the main thing. Even when the final settlement is life-changing, it’s rarely the first thing on the client’s mind.
Instead, what clients want – what they need – is this:
- A genuine apology for what went wrong.
- Reassurance that lessons have been learned and no one else will suffer the same way.
- Then, and only then, a financial remedy that helps them rebuild their life.
This hierarchy of needs isn’t unique to personal injury. It’s echoed in complaints across the legal profession. Clients want to feel heard. They want to know someone cares. And yet, somewhere along the way, we’ve absorbed the idea that saying sorry is risky. That it’s an admission of liability. That insurers will recoil. That silence is safer.
That’s simply not true.
“Don’t Say Sorry”—The Unhelpful Urban Legend
From the moment I was a trainee solicitor (once told to “play the dumb trainee” after my supervisor sent out an incomplete security package), to now, advising firms on complaint handling, I’ve seen this reluctance to apologise play out again and again.
But here’s the truth: in my experience, insurers don’t treat a heartfelt apology as an admission of negligence. They understand the difference between legal liability and human empathy. And when I’ve handled notifiable complaints, insured solicitors have supported me in offering sincere apologies for service lapses.
Maybe it’s not the insurers who don’t want us to apologise. Maybe, in fact, they’re a useful excuse for avoiding what many of us associate with an apology – an admission of failure or weakness.
What a Real Apology Looks Like
A real apology isn’t a legal trap—it’s a tool to rebuild your client’s trust in you. But it has to be given properly. Here’s what to avoid:
- “I’m sorry you feel that way…” — This sounds like you’re apologising for the client’s emotions, not your actions, and implying that their emotional irrationality is nothing to do with you.
- “I’m sorry things transpired in such a way…” — Vague, passive, and emotionally distant.
Instead, aim for clarity, ownership, and sincerity. If you’re not the person who made the mistake, you can still say:
“I’ve spoken to the colleague involved, and they’re genuinely sorry for what happened. I want to reiterate that apology on their behalf and on behalf of the firm.”
This shows empathy and accountability. It also signals that the firm takes structural responsibility—not just individual blame.
Lessons Learned: The Second Half of the Apology
Clients want to know that their experience won’t be repeated. So don’t just say “we’ll do better.” Show them how:
- If delays happened because of annual leave or childcare juggling (you may well be getting these complaints following the summer holidays), explain how you’re improving handover procedures.
- If a deadline was missed, outline how you’re tightening up your diary system or calendar alerts.
These aren’t just operational tweaks—they’re acknowledgments that something has gone wrong and that’s not good enough. They show the client that their frustration has led to meaningful change.
The Human Face
Yes, complaints can be exhausting. Yes, some clients seem impossible to please. But many are simply overwhelmed. Legal fees are a big deal for personal or business budgets. Legal processes are intimidating. And when communication falters, it can feel like the whole system is against them.
So take a breath. Step into their shoes. And say something like:
“I can see how frustrating this must have been, especially given the time and energy you’ve invested. I want you to know that we have listened to you – and we’re taking steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
The Legal Ombudsman has recognised too: their recent Spotlight on Remedies study agrees that acknowledging the emotional effects around a complaint tends to lead to a quicker resolution. They can, and do, impose additional financial compensation specifically for emotional distress.
It may not happen often but a client whose trust you have rebuilt after a sticky situation could become your biggest advocate. Apologising isn’t just good service. It’s good business. And it’s good humanity.
